In working with residents at AToN Center, part of our curriculum is dedicated to addressing the social circumstances that may have promoted or enabled our residents ongoing addictions.
Humans are designed to form connections with others and breaking these ties, even when there is obvious dysfunction, can still be a difficult process. The scope of the problem can range from learning what to communicate to a neighbor that you might have shared a beer with at a barbecue, to setting a firm boundary with a partner still in active addiction. Many times the first part of the process is to get right with yourself before you will even know how or what to communicate to others.
Changing yourself is a difficult enough process, but once some momentum has been gained in being clear from your addiction, then you may start to develop a confidence that can be instrumental in setting and maintaining healthy boundaries with others. Often times others can be resistant to your changes, even if these are for the better. They may see your progress as a threat to your connection. What is important is to have compassion, communicate respectfully and learn that you can still be OK even if another person is not happy with the boundary you are setting.
There can be a loss in letting go of that negative influence but in doing so you are protecting your recovery and opening yourself up to new, healthier connections.
Chad K. Cox PsyD PSY23320
AToN Center 888-535-1516