Assertiveness

Active Listening

July 24, 2017 // by Aton Center

A major component of treatment at the AToN Center is Assertiveness Training. Poor communication can contribute to relational issues – which in turn can harmfully impact recovery. A very basic skill that is often overlooked and underutilized is “active listening.” Active listening can prevent miscommunication and relay to your loved one empathy and concern.

Often times we may feel pressure to solve a problem, when the problem may likely resolve itself if only the person in crisis can feel like they have been heard and understood. Many times we are thinking about our “next move” in a conversation, rather than immersing ourselves into the world of the person to whom we are speaking. Here are some helpful tips to assist in active listening:

Maintain open body language and direct eye contact.

Whenever your loved one says something that you think is important to them, state in your own words what you believe they just said. This is called “paraphrasing.” You can try the following phrases: “What I hear you saying is. . .”, “In other words . . .”, and “Would you say that. . .”

Paraphrasing leads to “clarifying.” If you find that you are misunderstanding your loved one, ask questions with the intention to fully understand their point of view. Your intention is NOT to interrogate, blame or manipulate. Your intention is to gather accurate information so your loved one feels understood.

Avoid attempting to solve the problem for your loved one. Focus on empathizing and validating your loved one’s experience.

If it cannot be avoided, and a solution must be reached, focus on assisting your loved one with generating as many options as possible. Non-judgmentally discuss each option, emphasizing the importance of personal choice in the matter.

Hopefully these tips can assist you in your future conversations – and don’t forget the other assertiveness techniques you have learned! Feel free to brush up on your skills by reviewing your AToN Binder!

Happy Listening!
Cassandra Cannon, Ph.D.
Clinical Director
AToN Center 888-535-1516

The Big Change

June 15, 2017 // by Aton Center

Often in my work with clients at the AToN center it starts to dawn upon them that sobriety is more than just “not drinking or using.” Initially, many people believe that they will be able to live the exact same lifestyle that they were engaged in beforehand. With some reflection and feedback they start to realize how many aspects of their life were touched by their use.

If previously your family occasions involved drinking, how would that change if you are not? If you previously would “always drink” at concerts or sporting events, what would it be like to attend these sober? If your business meetings are frequently held in bars, how are you going to find a way around being exposed to that kind of trigger?

The good news is that while these issues are part of a stressful transition, there is hope in managing each of them effectively. You can develop the confidence to stay sober and communicate this assertively to your loved ones. You can learn that concerts and sporting events are even more fun to attend when you are paying attention to the show and you actually remember what happened.

You may also find that your co-workers are more impressed with your improved productivity and clarity of thought when you return to work. Sobriety can feel intimidating at first but with proper care and effort, it can lead to a depth and meaning you previously could not imagine.

Dr. Chad K. Cox
AToN Center 888-535-1516

AToN Center’s 6 Foundations of Recovery

January 8, 2017 // by Aton Center

In an effort to eliminate the presence of self-destructive and maladaptive behaviors, we subscribe to these basic principles:

AToN Center’s 6 Foundations of Recovery:

1. Maintain motivation: AToN Center believes that motivation can be built rather than it needing to already exist prior to entering treatment. Building motivation makes a significant difference when facing the temptations to leave treatment, discontinue IOP, or cease going to meetings. Having the motivation to adhere to structure can assist in the prevention of relapse.

2. Cope with craving: Cravings will only last for a period of time and therefore, developing the capacity to wait through them contributes to experiencing cravings less frequently and less intensely.

3. Manage emotions: Emotional flooding is a trigger for relapse. Applying CBT principles like thought records assist clients in identifying irrational thought patterns and emotional responses. Utilizing these tools can assist clients in developing the ability to manage their emotions effectively.

4. Nurture healthy relationships: Assertiveness training and developing communication skills are important components of the recovery process. AToN Center encourages the building of relationships that will aide in our client’s recovery, while taking a hard look at the ones that aren’t. Solid relationships are helpful to a clients’ overall recovery.

5. Balance your life: Balancing physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual components assist in maintaining recovery. Being out of balance contributes to relapse, and therefore it is important that clients recognize how to care for themselves in each of these areas.

6. Live with a higher purpose: Being of service and getting “out of self” allows clients the opportunity to give back, while also developing a sense of purpose and esteem.

AToN Center Addiction Treatment Center San Diego 888-535-1516

Bridges

November 13, 2012 // by Aton Center

Bridges

Success and Failure Road Sign with dramatic clouds and sky.

In the counseling that I provide as a Psychologist at the AToN Center I am often looking for the connections between the skills that are being learned and how these will be applied in the real world.

It is much easier to avoid drinking and using while you are staying at a residential treatment facility where there is a supportive staff and counselors around to provide structure. When teaching skills or techniques though I am looking for how these apply to the real world.

Assertiveness skills may in abstract sound like a good idea but residents here are presented with role plays where can practice saying no to a drink at a party. Journaling and thought records sound like good ideas but while in treatment I strongly encourage people to think about how they would use these tools at home. In practicing making time for self-care in treatment, it is more likely this will generalize to the outside world. In the long run, developing a plan for how the lifestyle is going to change after recovery is what is important. The lessons learned and insights gained will eventually need to be applied in specific situations so a person can feel a mastery over their temptations and recovery.

Chad-Cox-AtonCenter

Dr. Chad K. Cox

Licensed Psychologist

The Joint Commission

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Drug and Alcohol Treatment for Men and Women