Balance. When discussing a group on the topic of Family Dynamics at the AToN center I present a model of parenting that can also be a helpful model for self-management. Researcher Diana Baumrind (1966) developed described different parenting styles and based this model on two variables: Control and Responsiveness. Control refers to how much of the parenting is about the parent’s agenda and direction.
Responsiveness is about how much the parent attends to the child’s desires, needs or wants. The balanced parent offers each of these variables. They are at times disciplining and give firm direction and boundaries. They are also at other times lenient, accommodating and give the child a path towards getting their wants and needs met. As the healthy parent provides these to the child so the addict can provide these to themselves.
Rather than being overly harsh and punitive towards your self and your recovery you can take time to nurture and care for yourself and be forgiving. Rather than continue the seemingly endless indulgences there can also be a self-discipline that puts in the work necessary for a better reward.
Balance in these domains can be difficult but being aware of the integration of the dichotomy can be the first step forward.
Chad K. Cox PsyD PSY23320
AToN Center 888-535-1516